OkCupid’s Arrow: An Online Love Story
February 14, 2018
February on With Love and a Little Self-Deprecation is dedicated to love. Family love, friendship love, marriage love, “that wasn’t even close to being” love – just lots and lots of love. But in a funny way, I promise. Today’s My Funny Valentine post, a tribute to the guy who has been rocking this love game since 2007. This post contains affiliate links.
You’ve Got Mail
I love a good romantic comedy. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy/girl does something dumb to mess it up. Boy and girl realize they are still in love and they all live happily ever after.
The romantic comedy is like a fairy tale but more realistic, and with more Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Not necessarily more realistic in terms of what happens in real life, but at least more realistic than Cinderella being only girl in town with a size 8 foot.
One of my favorite romantic comedies is You’ve Got Mail. The forbidden love, the witty repertoire, the fact that I would watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan sit together doing nothing but eating pasta for 1.5 hours and still find myself entertained. But I’m also a little bias, because that’s how I met the love of my life. Not sitting doing nothing eating pasta, although we do that, but online.
A Free Love
Glen and I “met” in August 2007 through the screens of our respective computers. And in 2007 it was not really the social norm for a 22 year old to be online dating. Online dating was for established adults, not children with college degrees that weren’t framed yet because the ink hadn’t dried.
But I had just finished up the Year of Chads and was totally done with dating the exact same person over and over again. My type was clearly flawed. So when a friend mentioned the dating site OkCupid I thought it could be fun. And most importantly, it was free fun. I was 22 and I had used all of my Kevin Garnett money to buy a Corolla and groceries. Match.com wasn’t in the budget. Plus according to Taylor Swift, I didn’t need to take this too seriously.
Cut to Glen. He had just accepted a job in New Hampshire and didn’t know anyone in the area. He joined OkCupid to meet some new people without standing around in bars by himself. Which is fair because even typing that gives me anxiety. The real kicker was that he also chose OkCupid as his dating site of choice because it was free. #MeantToBe.
A Wink and a Smile
So we had both been on the site for maybe a month and each had gone on one rather underwhelming date with people we met from the site. Then we stumbled across each other. I don’t remember who made the first move, which in OkCupid world at the time was to send a “wink” to someone who’s picture you liked. I remember thinking that the whole wink situation was creepy. But fast forward to 2018 and the online dating world has turned into swiping left and right so OkCupid was just out there setting trends.
We started sending emails that were both adorable and cringeworthy upon later review. After a while we started talking on the phone. And then we had our first date on September 22, 2007. We met face to face for the first time on a train platform and then headed into Boston for drinks and a comedy show. Which by the way is the most perfect date ever. If you’re on the dating scene, go do that. It’s fantastic.
Like Peas and Carrots
Here’s where our romantic comedy takes a turn from Hollywood into real life. In a less than Blockbuster level non-twist, our love story really didn’t have many complications. We didn’t own competing businesses. We weren’t in relationships with other people. We didn’t love each other and then hate each other and then love each other in dramatic fashion. For me and Glen it was pretty simple. We met, we dated, I lied to other people about how we met because online dating felt weird, we fell in love pretty darn quickly, and then we got married 4 years later, almost to the day, of our first date.
I love our simple love. It’s consistent, stable, and strong. We just fit. Glen makes every day easier, while still pushing me to be my best. In return I cook mediocre dinners and almost always remember to clean my hair out of the drain.
Our marriage has seen some challenges like any marriage. And like other couples we fight about silly things. Or mostly I pick a fight and he stares at me blankly until we figure out the real issue and then calmly talk about that actual problem like adults.
Our love isn’t over the top and there isn’t a lot of running through airports to find one another, or running through the rain to find one another, or running in general. Generally it’s a lot of laughing, and laundry. I wouldn’t trade our simple online love for any of that drama-rama though. We don’t need a fairy tale, or a romantic comedy; we just need us. On the couch. Watching SNL three days late on DVR while eating our kids’ potty training M&Ms. #blessed
Happy Valentine’s Day, Glenjamin. I love you.
With love and a bag of Ghirardelli square chocolates with caramel in the middle,