Am I Hungry Enough to Eat That?
July 5, 2017
I have a long commute to work. Like “bring water and other survival supplies” long. It’s not horrible though because I can pretend to be intellectual and listen to NPR, pretend to be cool and listen to Kiss 108 nodding along when they talk about whoever the heck Fetty Wap is, or pretend to be funny and write blog posts in my head. But I don’t always follow my own “bring water and other survival supplies” rule which makes for some interesting life choices when the extreme hanger sets in on Route 2. I’ll explain.
Usually I’m driving around 5 o’clock in lots of traffic and usually I haven’t eaten in over an hour which is just far too long. So I play a little game I like to call “Am I hungry enough to eat that?” with the forgotten contents of my work bag. Some examples:
- Apple I packed for lunch yesterday that got accidentally poked by a pen – Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that. Chew around the ink.
- Granola bar that has been in my bag since 2012 because it’s a gross flavor – Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that. Mmmm preservatives.
- Baby Puffs that made it into my work bag by the hands of a helpful baby – Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that but they did literally nothing. What is this, crunchy air?
- Clementine that now looks like a shrunken head – No, I am not hungry enough to eat that. Dangerously close though.
My kids play that game around our house too, but it’s less of a game and more of a lifestyle choice.
- What’s that, an acorn? Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that. Why aren’t you letting me eat that???
- Look there is a goldfish cracker on the floor that might have been from the previous home owners – Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that. Mmmm preservatives.
- Did someone 450 miles away just whisper “lollypop”?!? Yes, I am hungry enough to eat that. Right now.
- Enchiladas that took mom an hour and half to make – No, I am not hungry enough to eat that. “Enchiladas aren’t my favorite. Want something different please.”*
“Am I hungry enough to eat that?” is usually a solitary game, but I’m hoping to make it multiplayer. Play along with me in the comments by sharing the weirdest/grossest thing you’ve been hungry enough to eat, please and thank you. As further incentive to participate I’ll build out my own list a little: A worm (that’s 100% true, and I wasn’t a child or on Fear Factor), Chinese food so old it could remember where it was during the First Battle of Bull Run, and oatmeal. I shouldn’t need to explain that last one but I guess I will. Oatmeal is the worst. The end.
Whatcha got?
With the curiosity of a cat and refined palate of a dog,
Becca
*Points for good manners though.
P.S. Follow this blog on Facebook for more irrational ramblings and survival skills.
P.P.S. Thanks for the shout out in your recent blog post, Kirsty!! I couldn’t think of 7 interesting things about myself but 1 interesting thing is that I think Kirsty is hysterical and I urge you all to check out her blog Honest K.
Haha! Great post, made me laugh 😀 I never knew it was a game, I play it daily in the office. I tried to eat a very shriveled, nasty apple yesterday. It had been on my desk for over a week (maybe 2 weeks), I gave it a bite, it didn’t taste too bad but the texture…no. Today I’m raking through Pistachio nut shells in the hope of finding a nut.
Thanks for the shout out 🙂 I’ll help you out with the 7 facts – number 1 – you will eat weird, nasty ass food when the hunger grows too strong 😀
I wish for you a Pistachio in a land of shells. There’s something kind of poetic about that actually. Or maybe I’m just hungry.
Haha! I wish that too! And I wish you find a (fresh) burger in your bag one day 😀
I just daydreamed about how awesome that would be and was rudely interrupted by my oven telling me it was done preheating. My life = food.
Good game you got there.
You know those little sugar-coated licorice bears that you get in a drugstore for $1.49 a bag? (used to be 19 cents when I was a kid, but that’s a subject for a later blog) Well, I was eating them while I was driving a month or so ago and one dropped in between the seats. Being a safe driver (I NEVER text and drive , seriously) I pulled over to retrieve it (I have a fetish for licorice bears, but that’s a subject for another blog) but to no avail. Guess what I found on the floor the other day? I think I pondered your question for a good 5 minutes before I decided that, since that’s the car we take the dogs in, it may have been not only well-aged, but also pre-licked. But it was a very close call……
Haha! I guess you do need to draw the line at dog saliva, sometimes.
I have one almond that fell out of the bag into my backpack. I am saving it for just the right hanger episode. I am guessing I will eat it. Great post!
Love it! I have a VERY old bag of almonds in my desk drawer for that same occasion. Let me know when you eat your almond and I’ll eat one of mine. 🙂
For sure!
Hilarious post! Usually I play this game with leftovers. My kids will eat anything resembling animal crackers from the floor/couch/car, no matter how old or crumbling it is…. I was once hungry enough to eat blood sausage. It was morning in a hotel in Scotland … I was starving! I can’t beat eating a worm … ewww! Why?!
Gah, I just googled blood sausage and I can’t unsee that description… You win! The worm wasn’t alive if that helps. And it was in South Africa and the waitress was EXTREMELY convincing.
Well, then I guess “When in Rome…” applies to us both!! 🙂
So true about the kids and eating dinner! The version of this I play usually revolves around the milk I keep in a mini fridge at work and when the “Best By” date starts to get closer and closer to reality. Am I hungry enough to pour this on my cereal this morning!
Haha! It’s milk roulette as that date approaches. Although my husband uses those dates as a well-intentioned suggestion.
I tend to let myself get past that point as well. I have notoriously left things in my purse. Think crumbs and yuck. I have on many occasions had to wipe down apples or other snacks thrown in there as well. I am sure there is grosser, I am just too hungry to think of any.
lol great post. My daily commute recently doubled so I keep snacks in my desk so I can chow down as soon as I get in. “Am I hungry enough to eat that?” should be my new diet mantra.
Thanks for reading! And for being hilarious. I loved everything about your cubicles and cocktails post. Everything.
Hey i tagged you in a “Friends for days” post! Check it out. In it you mention the 5 blogs that touched your heart. And off coarse for me, it includes yours!
https://thoughtsofacuriousgirlblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/friends-for-days/
If the link doesnt work, go to the first post on my blog! Happy writing!
Thanks so much! That’s awesome! I’ll need to go check out the other ones on your list. 🙂
Omg the ‘old clementine’ pic 😂😂😂I’m still laughing!
I’m trying to follow your blog from wordpress but it’s gone a bit mental!
Haha! Thank you! I hope wordpress goes unmental soon! I have a new post up about roller blading and deceit… 🙂
Sounds like comedy gold 😉
Baby Puffs are just appalling. I just assumed they were slightly less crunchy, healthier versions of Cheese Puffs. Sure, if Cheese Puffs lost their flavor and had been left out for a year. Blech.
The weirdest thing I’ve ever had (according to other people, anyway) was a pepperoni sub. Just pepperoni and bread. I was pregnant and it was glorious. Hell, I’m not pregnant now and me on rum things it still sounds pretty darn glorious.
1) I’m glad I’m not the only one who expected more from Puffs.
2) All I want right now is a pepperoni sub now. With a side of pepperoni sub.
Lol 😀 My husband does this pretty much, he likes to try all the street food, but makes a face to eat the food made at home 🙂
Following, hurray!
Thanks!! You rock! 🙂
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Hahahah. I’d have eaten the granola bar too. The acorn reminds me of the time I fed some to my sister when we were kids lol.
That’s something I’ve learned after writing this post, we’ve all eaten that granola bar… Thanks for reading!
When you’re hungry and craving something specific, but its past its expiration date (chocolate, soup, instant noodles…), I convince myself that’s just a best before date and eat it anyway…lol 😀
For sure! Dang… now I really want instant noodles…
Haha 😂
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Recently I cut out a moldy spot on sourdough bread, toasted the rest, and topped it with almond butter because I needed a preworkout snack and that was all I had that wasn’t uncooked vegetables or canned tomato sauce.
I’m proud of you, Reagan. That’s just called being resourceful.
Lol I love this
Thanks for stopping by! Happy snacking!