Dear Fitbit,

Dear Fitbit,

It’s been two weeks since you left me. And I need you to know that even though I’m smiling on the outside, I’m really not okay. I miss you. I miss us. And I want you back.

Dear Fit Bit, I miss you. I miss us.

I understand why you left. Really, I get it. I didn’t appreciate you as much as I should have. If I did I would have made sure I held onto you tighter, and tightened your wrist band. By now you’ve probably moved on to someone else who caught a glimpse of you in the parking lot/ in my recycling bin/ in conference room 101B and knew they couldn’t let you go. They were smarter than I am. Also thiefier, but I’m not here to point fingers, I just want you to be happy. Are you happy?

Since you’ve been gone I’ve let myself go. I hate to admit that but it’s true. Did you know that you can gain 5 pounds in 6 days? You probably don’t because you are the master of self control. But me? It’s like without you exercise doesn’t even matter. Why bother if you’re not there? Calories don’t matter either, but that one is totally on me and a love of chips and salsa. Is that why you left? I don’t know how many times I have to say it, I love chips and salsa as a friend, nothing more. It’s always been you.

Dear Fit Bit, I miss you. I miss us.

I miss the way you motivated me, believed in me, and were my biggest (wearable) cheerleader. I miss the way you always helped me feel more connected to the ones I love (through convenient on-my-wrist text message alerts). I miss the way you kept me on time (you know, because you’re a watch). Gosh, I miss your musk.

It’s time for me to move on, I get that. And I’ll probably move on to someone who looks just like you, but who also knows my heart (rate) and provides more security (through a strap buckle clasp). You’ll always be my first though. And you made me better. Physically, mentally, spiritually. Maybe not spiritually. That was kind of missing in our relationship, but no relationship is perfect. You though… to me, YOU were perfect. Thank you for everything.

With love and already less defined calves,


Follow on Facebook for more stories about my codependent relationships with various products/services/television shows/retail chains.

Oh! And if this has convinced you that you need a Fitbit in your life, buy theΒ Fitbit Alta HRΒ and I’ll make anywhere between .04 and 45 cents I think. That’d be awesome. Affiliate link.Β 

21 thoughts on “Dear Fitbit,

  1. This is one of the most heart-rending soliloquies I have ever read. Who knew an inanimate object could engender so much love? There’s nothing quite like first loves, as you say. However, just bravely writing about it like this should enable you to move on. I feel certain there’s a Emporio Armani Renato Hybrid Smartwatch out there just waiting to be comforted by the beat of your heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I lost my fitbit at the gym one day and someone picked it up. I emailed fitbit and they sent me a new one completely free. They have awesome customer service! Just email them!
    -Emily @


    • That’s incredible! I got so sad writing this blog post that I ended up ordering another one but great to know in case I’m a negligent Fitbit parent again. Thanks, Emily!


  3. I broke up with my Fitbit because it was driving me crazy. My husband kept telling me that my Fitbit does not define me every time I would yell at it because it wouldn’t track my calories burned. I know it’s lonely sitting on my nightstand, but it had to be done. Loved your post! Very clever and funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Table 14: Compound of Dreams | With love and a little self-deprecation

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