Adventures in Covert Selfie Taking: A Smile Brilliant Review
February 21, 2018
This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Smile Brilliant. All opinions in this Smile Brilliant review are my own because honesty is the best policy. This post contains affiliate links.
That’s a Mouthful
My kids have a Dr. Seuss book called “The Tooth Book.” I love it because it is super silly, super short, and reading things that rhyme is more fun. Like a run, in the sun, reciting puns.
My favorite line in the tooth book is “Don’t gobble junk like Billy Billings, they say his teeth have 50 fillings.” Mostly I love this page because the picture of all the chocolate Billy is eating looks incredible. Probably not at all the point of the book. Maybe the exact opposite point of the book.
I eat healthy food most of the time, but I also have a love affair with chocolate. It’s the best food ever created. Find me a couch with a jar of Nutella and I’ll call that a real solid Friday night. I know, I know… I’m just SO weird right. Who likes chocolate? I’m just like really unique and quirky. It’s kind of my thing.
In a seemingly unrelated note, I also have beauty routine that consists of “put on lipstick.” The end. When you’re generally unrested, have minimal free time, and your hair has taken on a life of its own due to parenthood/misuse of dry shampoo, lipstick is a good solution for looking like you have your act together.
I promise this will start tying together really soon.
Smile Like the Sun
So, here we have a woman who adores teeth staining sweets, flosses irregularly, really loves smiling, and is vain about exactly one area of her person. It’s almost like Smile Brilliant totally did their research before reaching out and asking me to review their teeth whitening product. I was basically twelve more CVS extra bucks away from buying some white strips so their timing could not have been better. Let’s do this!
The super cool part about Smile Brilliant is that you get a customized teeth whitening tray so it fits your mouth perfectly and doesn’t slip around like the strips. Creating the teeth mold is pretty easy, just read the directions and it takes less than 10 minutes. Or make sure you have a spouse who always reads directions to tell you what you are supposed to be doing in case you’re the kind of person who gets too excited about the idea of mixing the putty for the mold together to make a pretty blue color and forgets to fully read the not even long at all pamphlet. Just an example.
As an aside, remember when you had a mouth guard for soccer and you had to boil it and then stick your teeth into the burning hot rubber to make your mouth guard fit and it was basic torture. Yeah, this isn’t anything like that. But the mold looks like that!
After you’ve been properly molded, you send the molds away in a little pink mailer bag that I sort of wanted to keep. (This product is SO on brand for me. I half expected it to also be fully endorsed by The Bachelor franchise, chocolate chip cookies, and laughing.)
Teeth are the Windows to the Soul
A couple weeks later I got my teeth trays back, which look exactly like the clear retainer you were supposed to wear after getting your braces off. Which I totally did, Mom and Dad. Like, all the time…
From there it’s a two step process – whitening gel in the tray for about 45 minutes, then desensitizing gel in the tray for about 15 minutes. The product can cause a little sensitivity, it did for me after day 1, but the desensitizing gel helped and I didn’t have any issues after that. For the most part you really don’t even notice that you have the whitening trays in because they are in there like swimwear.
Things I did while whitening my teeth:
- Full body sobbed while watching This is Us.
- Questioned my taste in television programming while over analyzing The Bachelor.
- Searched the internet for Leslie Knope memes.
- Avoided eating my weight in chocolate after the kids went to bed because I had whitening gel on my teeth. #UnforseenBenefits
- Live chatted with SiteGround customer service 143 times while I transferred my website domain because technology is scary. (But BTW, their customer service is fantastic if you’re a blogger looking for a new website host.)
- Folded enough laundry to convince myself that I actually have seven more children somewhere in this house.
- Full body sobbed while watching This is Us again.
Blinded By the White
The big reveal, y’all. The Smile Brilliant process totally worked! These pictures were taken VERY uncomfortably in my work parking lot at the exact same time of day about 3 weeks apart. At time and in a parking spot that I would be unlikely to see direct coworkers/anyone with eyes. Taking these pictures put me so far out of my comfort zone I think I got jet lag on my way back to home base.
- These results only took about 8 whitening sessions. Now I feel like a feminine and nicer version of Gaston when I smile at people.
- I could whiten my teeth on my couch. I really like my couch.
- I actually started flossing. The directions say to floss before you whiten so I did. And it’s not so bad. Go figure.
- I stopped eating so much garbage at night. This product is in no way intended for weight loss, but I’m not going to fault it for stopping me from mindlessly eating of a bag of chocolate chips while I stayed up until silly o clock writing blog posts about Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century. It’s a much healthier choice and one I probably could have made on my own, but I’m still a quasi adult apparently and thrive on rules and restrictions.
- The price tag is steeper than buying your standard white strips. (But I think more effective and more pleasant, so this is like saying I’m bummed out that my knock off Toms got a hole in the toe.)
- Smile Brilliant could probably fake my death now because they have a mold of my teeth. They probably won’t though.
So, do I recommend Smile Brilliant? Yup. Liked it a lot. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. Even if I’m a hot mess disaster 95% of the time, I feel confident that my teeth are on their A game and that my go to lipstick is framing something frame worthy. It’s like a very cool optical illusion, that’s also real.
You Make Me Smile
Want to check it out? The super nice Smile Brilliant folks are offering a discount code for With Love and Little Self-Deprecation readers. Use “withlove15” for 15% off at checkout!
With a smile so bright I have to wear shades,