Kevin Garnett Bought Me a Corolla
October 25, 2017
After my dreams of being a food decorator were so harshly dashed, I found a new dream. Sports Marketing.
Did I do a lot of research into what sports marketing entailed? No. Did I know one person who went to college for it and I decided that since I liked sports and making posters for Homecoming dances that I should do that too. Yes.
It wasn’t horrible logic really. And it was a real job this time so my parents supported the dream. I went to Boston College, studied marketing, cried through finance, made philosophy professors question my critcal thinking skills, and interned with the Athletics Department. My role here was “make sure kids don’t fall out of the bounce house at the alumni tailgate party.” 4 years. 0 injuries. 3 resume bullet points. Crushed it.
Then my first job out of college was at the Boston Celtics. Dude, how cool is that? I was 22 and somehow found myself employed by one of those most storied franchises in sports history. As is known to happen in the world of sports though, the mighty had taken a tumble over the past couple decades and the Celtics were actually the worst team in the NBA when I started there. Season tickets weren’t exactly selling themselves so the C’s needed some eager beavers to get on the horn and fill those seats.
I became one of those eager beavers and learned the fine art of cold calling. If you attended a Celtics game anytime in the 2006-2007 season and your last name was near the middle of the alphabet you very likely got a phone call from me in June 2007 asking about your experience at the game and if I could interest you in a Mini Pack of tickets. Thanks for being so pleasant on the phone by the way – I remember everyone I spoke with being super lovely, and because I’m the proud daughter of a successful salesman, I had excel files full of notes about all of my potential clients. Favorite players, kids’ names, birthdays, Broadway shows they were interested in seeing, blood type… To this day I know more about Linda from Andover than I do about some of my closest friends.
My salary was very significantly supplemented by ticket sales commission, like lots of sales jobs. Given that the team was really bad, like reallllllly bad, I should have been super worried about this. But I wasn’t, because I had a budget! A budget that I proudly showed my dad after he gave me some serious side eye when I said I had plenty of income to rent an apartment, eat, and cover all my expenses like a real grown up. According to my budget, after rent, groceries, loan repayment, and train fare I would have a total of $3.50 extra a month. IF I sold at least two season ticket packages a month… So I was totally fine. Meanwhile my dad was begrudgingly moving boxes out of my childhood bedroom anticipating my speedy return.
I’m stupid competitive though, and I made it through my call lists in record time, and even managed to make some sales in the early part of that summer. Couple months in and I was hanging in there, by a very precarious Ramen filled thread, but I was hanging in there. But then one day in late July I show up to work and there was a buzz in the air.
“Did you hear we might get Kevin Garnett?” “No seriously, I think Kevin Garnett is coming to the Celtics…” “We have a staff meeting in 10 minutes… do you really think we are getting Kevin Garnett?”
Dude, we were totally getting Kevin Garnett… As a staff we officially found out about a day before it was public information, which gave us a day to call our potential clients and say “Um, I can’t tell you anything. But if you were thinking about buying tickets, maybe do it now. K? Oh also, how’s Timmy’s tennis elbow? Did you make it to see Wicked?”
Fast forward into the next 24 hours and everyone and their mom was calling to buy Celtics tickets. We all got into work at the crack of dawn and phones were already ringing off the hook. People were feeling the Celtics magic coming back in full force and they wanted to come along for the ride, much to my father’s relief.
At one point Ray Allen, another insanely important recent addition to the team, walked through the office to witness the craziness that was the ticket sales department. He stopped by my desk as I was completing a sale and my jaw dropped to the floor. My University of Conneticut fan-girling heart just about exploded but I manged to adult and get another fan into their seats for the season before writing about it in my diary.
Did I become a multi-millionaire that summer from my season ticket sales commission? Well no. Did I launch myself into a career in the sports industry? Actually, no. My contract with the team ended in February and I started my career in higher education instead which turns out was the perfect fit for me. But I did get to go to the NBA finals when the Celtics took home Banner 17. Oh yes. And I did earn enough money to keep my apartment? And eat? And put a down payment on a little green Corolla? You betcha.
Thanks for the Corolla, Kev. You’re the best.
With a heart that will always bleed green,
I have it on good authority that all of these items are going to sell out really soon. Just saying. (Affiliate Links)